Saturday, January 16, 2010

How Do You Explain...

That it's okay to lose?

We are constantly surrounded by images of the "winners". No one ever gets heralded for losing.

And yet I am supposed to try to make my 9 year-old feel okay about losing his wrestling matches last night.
He was discouraged. He cried (which he hates to do) and then tried to justify one of the losses saying "It wasn't even my match! I just wrestled the kid because they asked me to".

Then he told us that he wasn't wrestling anymore. He didn't care. He was done. He still had one more scheduled match. One of the last matches of the evening.
I just let him go. Didn't coddle him - just let him be. He was so pathetic sitting there on the side of the mat with a tear rolling down his cheek. It is so hard for me not wrap him up in my arms in tell him "It' s okay buddy. You did your best & that's all that matters". He doesn't want to hear that. He just wants to be left alone -or so I think.

Maybe I should ask him what he wants me to do when he is upset after he loses.
He will probably say "I don't know Mom...Go and get me a snack?"
Today he is over his losses of last evening. He is laying in our bed, watching a movie in his pajamas. I casually mentioned that he has a tournament tomorrow (because I didn't want to spring it on him Sunday morning as we were headed out the door) and he didn't have much of a reaction.
Hopefully tomorrow he will be focused (as focused as a 9 year-old can be) and ready to do his best.

No comments: